I am Not Afraid...

I am not afraid anymore. There was a time in my life when fear ruled my days and kept me awake at night. I imagined horrible things happening, I had all our panic attacks. I kept my children close, hardly allowing them from my sight, never letting them go off in other's cars, trusting no one. The fears lasted almost 10 years, with two years being unbarible. My doctor said it was postpartum that time. I lived in control of my life, fearing things from outside, afraid, even, to be alone.
I have faced some incredible things in my life, and though I always considered myself "a mess" during those times, others found me to be an inspiratonal "woman of steel". No real inspiration from me, I mean, you have to wake up each day, right? That's all I did: woke up and went about each day.
I realized tonight, I am not afraid. At all. I am careful, I am smart, but I am not afraid. I sleep at night, here alone, in the house with four kids, and I am not freaked out. I have no one really close to lean on or go to, but I am ok and have created my own "family" of support. I trust many with my kids because I HAVE to-they are getting independant and involved in life, and the single parent thing really forces it on me. I am ok though. My kids have met some GREAT people:)I am not afraid.