Sunday, July 09, 2006

Reality Bites...???

My days are getting wilder and wilder. As I move away from the six months of pain, planning, and receiving help, I move into the "new" life I have talked about having for those months...
My pain is gone, yet I am still under Dr Dorai's orders concerning work and lifting and so on. My bank account is gone, and it is beyond time to start looking for income sources. I spent much of tonight doing just that, along with setting up a new client's web account and sorting through some rather serious issues within my Homeschool Community. As I sent out emails to friends that can assist and offer leads to money making possibilities, and sorted through remarks and ideas from my fellow co-op members, I realized that this is truly my time to shine. I am truly on a path unpaved, as I keep pointing out. There simply ARE no books or websites about "how to be a single homeschooling income earning business running mom of four". For the sake of others, I hope there isn't much need for one:) I will surely start one if I think that there are more like me:)
My prospects paid off, I have a new web client, and I have some office work lined up to begin in the morning. I have no idea how that will work out, there is underlying "stuff" with the person who offered it up.
I have realized that I am capable of doing ANYTHING I set out to do, if I am patient and diligent. I view this as a quest. I am on a DAMN QUEST! I cannot fail, or give up. After the homeschool community I created four years ago, which has dragged my through more trials and mud then anyone could ever imagine, I realize that I am persistent and enduring, if nothing else. I also realized that I cannot ever say I can't do something...WON'T do something, sure, but never CAN'T!
People have told me that I am a source of inspiration. I don't know where that comes from. Certainly NOT my parents. I am made up of things that have no foundation from my upbringing, it all seems to come, truly, from ME. As I consider myself "spiritual" and not of basic religion, I cannot place the source of power and upward movement with something bigger then myself. It draws from ME. Somewhere deep within ME. Perhaps I shifted a lack of self esteem into a straight all out DRIVE to simply BE!!!!! BE Alive, BE full of energy, BE what I can BE, BE for all, BE for my kids, BE!!! Blessed Blessed "BE":)
I start office work in the AM, and should go to bed and wake up early with a fresh mind. We also have seven doctors appointments this week, including one with my Neurosurgeon. I also need to go to court for final divorce stuff. Yuck...Nuff said...
This week basically starts the beginning of my "new life" as I start to work, support myself, and gather what I need to run both my web business and my currently restructuring Homeschool Group. I have a large sum of money coming to me soon, from the surplus of our foreclosed upon house. That will bring about many changes, like moving-again-and starting back to college...Oh yes, this life has barely begin:)
I guess sleep is a requirement for all this, huh?
I am off!
BE, all you are meant to BE,
Sami

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